Artistry and Ego

In my opinion, artists (this encompasses all the arts), walk hand-in-hand with Self-doubt, Self-critic and Ego. They’re numbers one, two, and three on your friends list and they NEVER go away.

Artists, in truth, are solitary creatures. The writer/poet who spends much of their time with a computer or notebook. The artist that works hours Writing_girlon end with brush, hands, camera, etc. The dancer who works alone incessantly in the studio. The actor who studies and memorizes their lines behind closed doors.  The composer/musician with just an instrument and paper. The designer that works solo at drafting table, cutting table, the darkened theatre, a computer. Some may have a team, or troupe, or ensemble, or critique group, but the bottom line is, those of us who strive to express ourselves through artistry, are ultimately alone with our craft.

With the exception of our three friends.

actorThere is always that niggling Self-doubt. What if I’m not good enough? What if they don’t like my story/poem, song, painting, design, performance, etc? What if I never realize my dream?

Or, the nasty Self-critic. It tells  you you’re not good enough. It tells you your story/poem, song painting, design, performance, etc. sucks! It tells you you’ll never realize your dream.

Then there’s Ego, and it can go many ways. Ego can be your detriment:dancer

I’m good enough, there’s no way they won’t like my (fill in the blank). This (fill in the blank) is awesome! It’ll become the next greatest (fill in the blank).

Pride goeth before the fall. You get bad reviews, or your work doesn’t sell, your performance was flat, or others in your craft are disparaging and you get sucked down into a black pit of despair at which time Self-doubt and Self-critic become your BFFs.

Or, Ego can be your savior:

designSomeone liked my (fill in the blank)! If I reach, touch, inspire, entertain someone, even one person with my (fill in the blank), it’s all worth it. I think this (fill in the blank) is awesome, I hope others will too.

Not setting yourself up for the fall, you get mixed reviews, or your work doesn’t sell as well as expected, but does sell, your performance mediocre, but acceptable, or others in your craft are disparaging, but not harsh, and you don’t let it get you down even though Self-doubt and Self-critic are still on your friends list.

Or, Ego let’s you get silly or obnoxious:composer

I’m on top of the world! Take that nay sayers, I did it! Yippee!! My (fill in the blank) is awesome! My (fill in the blank) rocked! OMG, I hope this lasts. What (fill in the blank) do I do next? Can I top that? Can I at least maintain my artistry?

Feeling good and still on your feet. You get rave reviews, your work sells, you get standing ovations, you’re written up in articles, etc., others in your craft are encouraging/supportive/disparaging depending on their own egos, and YES, Self-doubt and Self-critic are still your friends.

artBecause, they are ALWAYS there for the artist.

For me, I’ve gone through all of it. Most of the time privately, because that’s the way I am. However, I can only go so long before it boils over or oozes out. I have a voice that smacks my friend Ego every time it gets out of hand, but that’s another topic. I’m not sure it’s a good or bad thing, because that same voice doesn’t throw down with Self-doubt and Self-critic and maybe it should. I’ve been sharing company with the two of them a little too much lately.

How about you? Do you have ways of reigning in these things or do you let them run rampant? Are these miscreants on your friends list?

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The Fullness of Life ~ More Random Musings by RG

I was going to say that I’ve been busy, but the truth is, my life has been full.Thomas Edison

It kicked off the weekend of the fifth with First Friday (a monthly celebration in different parts of the Denver Metro area) and a visit to the Santa Fe Drive Art District. I attended with two of my fellow authors, one of whom is an amateur photographer. We had a blast. We all agreed that the first place we visited, was our favorite. It was the most avante garde of all the galleries and was a studio space as well. These were the true “starving” artists. However, there was a more trendy artgallery that had a couple of artists that really appealed to me too.

The next day was the last workday for the local high school’s after prom. My son also came over for dinner, and I had a cupcake exchange party to go to. If you’ve never been to one of these parties, I would suggest you go, or have one. Several of us made cupcakes, had a tasting, had a winner for most beautiful and best tasting, and then exchanged the different cupcakes. It was a lot of fun and if you want your wife/husband, girlfriend/boyfriend/partner, mom/dad to bring home a variety of lovely cupcakes for you to try (or just eat) attend or send them to one of these parties. The event was put on by D & P Celebrations and they provided the decor, scoring sheets, and fun things to do. It was attended by Sarah, of Sarah and Brad Photography, who took our pictures holding various silly props to our faces. Here is a look at the cupcake spread (This is my picture, so you know why it’s crappy. Sarah’s can be found at her link). Please check out D & P Celebrations. They have really cute paper party goods and an Etsy store from which to buy them.112

The following Monday, I spent my last full time week with Blaster Bouncer. This was very bittersweet. I will miss working for them, but hope to Random Musings, Part 1keep in touch and maybe work a few events or fill in every once in awhile. They have three locations; Denver, CO, Chicago, IL, and Pittsburgh, PA. If any of you readers live in those areas and have kids, block parties coming up, after proms, other school events, etc., check them out.

Last Friday (not yesterday) I left work early to start setting up after prom at Dakota Ridge High School. I’ve been doing this a long time and still do it even though my kids aren’t in high school any more (Don’t ask, I’m crazy and that’s all I’ll say). This years theme was Mardi Gras mardi grasTrieze as it’s 2013 and the event was on the thirteenth. I have to admit, I had a lot of fun with this one and since my tastes run a little dark, I designed the cemetery, ’cause you’ve got to have one if you’re in New Orleans, right? This pretty much took up my whole weekend . . . Yeah, no, it DID take up my whole weekend.

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That brings me to last week. I started a new job; full time, year round, etc. As much as I would like to stay home and write, it doesn’t pay the bills (yet, I say quietly and to myself). So far, I like it and it’s close to home.

And, that, as they say, is that. My life has been feeling pretty full, but now that things have settled a bit, I can get back to concentrating on my book.

What makes your life full?

Seo ar an saol! ~ Here’s to life!full life

RG

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